There are a few questions we have about this story here at Six Six Hicks:
1.) Is it a true story? By "unconfirmed sources", we're talking two degrees of separation. One of our friends has at least three friends up in Edmonton who were playing against El Fisto and reported this via Twitter. The common argument against is likely going to be that they're just making this up, but if they were, why in God's name would they have chosen Mark "Marky Mark" Fistric of all people to target? We're pretty sure the only time people hear his name, it's just after he's redeemed his "one open ice hit per game" coupon, then they forget he existed quickly afterwards. We're going to have to go with true on this one, but not 100% positively. More like 93%.
2.) Why in the hell is Mark Fistric playing in a Division 3 Beer League game in Edmonton? At first we tried answering this with a "He's an NHL player, he should at least be in Division 1" before realizing that this is Mark Fistric we're talking about here. This is a man who would have trouble stickhandling his way out of a brown paper bag, giving up halfway through to hit it in the head with a helmet.
|To his credit, it was a really defensively sound paper bag.|
|Case + Point|
To me that just bursts with shades of that old story about the tortoise and the hare, except the tortoise only gets the icetime they were racing for because the hare was too busy beating up teenagers in beer league games to realize that there was an actual race going on.
|As the Razorboy might say: "IT WAS LARCENY"|
|Going back and getting his grandpa would be acceptable as well.|
THIS IS NOW CONFIRMED, HERE'S PROOF http://www.strathconashl.com/sites/3333/page.asp?Site=9975&page=Boxscore&LeagueID=9975&SeasonID=12&DivisionID=8&GameID=2830
In before "there are tons of guys called Mark Fistric in Edmonton.
We are told that on the scorecard the penalties that are given to Chad Michaud are actually Fistric's. Simply a mix-up with numbers there, we are assured. Having dealt with scorekeepers before, it's actually a small miracle that they didn't give a penalty to #98 instead.
According to the Beer League in question, Fistric has been suspended for 5 games (including a $50 fine which is sure to burn a hole the pocket of his metal studded jacket) for his indiscretions.